Navigating Holiday Stress While Expecting
Commercials splashed with colorful images and familiar jingles, twinkling lights that adorn businesses and neighborhood houses, gift exchanges, and sweet treats. While the holiday season can be filled with joy, festivities, and memorable moments spent with family and friends, for many, it can be a challenging period marked by increased stress, loneliness, and other mental health struggles. A survey conducted by the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) found that 64 percent of individuals living with a mental illness reported that their conditions worsened around the holidays. The holidays can also be activating for people who are in recovery or struggling with substance misuse. For pregnant people, these challenges can be magnified by the physical and emotional changes of pregnancy, as well as the societal and familial expectations often tied to the holiday season. As we deck the halls and count down to midnight, recognizing and addressing the unique mental health challenges that accompany the holidays is important.
The expectation dilemma
The holiday season brings a unique set of expectations that can feel overwhelming, particularly for pregnant individuals. The pressure to create perfect celebrations, find meaningful gifts, and attend gatherings while navigating pregnancy-related fatigue, nausea, or other physical and mental health symptoms can contribute to heightened stress and anxiety. Additionally, many holiday gatherings include food and drink, which can add to pressure and temptation for those who may be recovering from substance use or eating disorders.
Pregnant people often face added societal pressure to be "glowing" or happy during the holidays. This expectation can lead to feelings of inadequacy or guilt if they are struggling with their mental health. Reframing these expectations is crucial:
Focus on creating small, meaningful moments.
Prioritize activities that feel restorative.
Establish boundaries around social obligations and communicate your needs with loved ones.
Remember that declining invitations or stepping away when you need rest or quiet time is okay.
Loneliness amidst the festivities
Pregnancy can sometimes feel isolating, especially during a season characterized by social gatherings. Those who are geographically distant from family, experiencing a high-risk pregnancy, or managing mental health conditions exacerbated by pregnancy may feel particularly lonely. Combating these feelings involves taking proactive steps:
Virtual connections can provide a sense of community – consider joining online prenatal support groups or forums tailored to expectant parents.
Local community centers or hospitals may also host events or classes where pregnant people can connect with others.
Taking time to engage in activities that bring personal joy can help alleviate loneliness – whether decorating your space, listening to music, or enjoying a quiet walk, find what nurtures your emotional well-being.
If you’re feeling isolated, don’t hesitate to reach out to trusted friends or family members for support.
Financial strain
The holidays can strain anyone’s finances, but for expectant parents preparing for a baby, the financial stress can feel overwhelming. Balancing the costs of holiday gifts, travel, and gatherings with expenses like prenatal care, maternity clothing, nutritious food, and baby supplies can feel insurmountable. There are strategies that can help reduce financial stress:
Setting a budget and exploring affordable ways to celebrate is essential – handwritten cards, homemade gifts, or planning free activities like a cozy movie night can shift the focus from material gifts to meaningful experiences.
Be open with loved ones about financial limitations, and don’t feel pressured to overspend.
Remember, thoughtful gestures and time spent together often mean more than unaffordable presents.
Family dynamics, conflict, and trauma
For some, the holidays mean navigating complex family dynamics, dysfunction, and potential conflicts. Unresolved issues, strained relationships, or family expectations can contribute to feelings of tension and anxiety. For pregnant people, these interactions can feel particularly charged, as they may face unsolicited advice, comments about their appearance, or pressure around their pregnancy. Establishing boundaries is vital:
Politely but firmly communicate your comfort regarding topics like parenting plans or birth choices.
Having a trusted ally at gatherings who can help steer conversations or provide emotional support can also ease stress.
Many individuals have far from idyllic childhood memories associated with annual holiday traditions. Instead, this time of year only emphasizes trauma, bringing pain, sorrow, and grief into sharp focus. Understanding triggers and having a plan can help individuals cope and reduce their emotional, mental, and physical load.
Hope through the holidays
While the holiday season can present unique challenges for mental health – especially for pregnant people – it’s possible to navigate this time with resilience and care. Recognize your limits, practice self-compassion, and lean on your support network when needed. Small, intentional actions to protect your physical, mental, and emotional health can create a holiday season that feels meaningful and nurturing.
If you or someone you know is in crisis, there is help!
Support resources
For local Sacramento County resources, visit https://sachealthybeginnings.com/county-programs.
Call or text 988 or chat at 988lifeline.org. The 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline is a national network of local crisis centers that provides free and confidential emotional support to people in suicidal crisis or emotional distress 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.